Bald Like Calliou

While Barney & Friends was my absolute favorite show for a major part of my childhood, I later came to appreciate Calliou. There was just something special about a purple and green Tyrannosaurus rex with a silly and optimistic attitude that had me hooked. Just look at me, chilling in my Huggies with not a care in the world.

PBS Kids recently announced that after 20 years of airing, Calliou, will be coming to an end. Parent's have had mixed reactions, and while I was not the biggest fan of the show (at least according to my mom), I feel a bit of sadness about a fellow baldie leaving our lives forever.

According to the American Hair Loss Association, approximately 25 percent of men who have hereditary male pattern baldness start losing their hair before the age of 21. From his inception,Calliou remained bald and owned it.

When I started to go bald in 10th grade, I was 16 years old— and it felt like the end of the world. Like any other teenager, I cared a great deal about what other people thought of me. I made sure to keep a fresh haircut so no one would have the chance to notice my receding hairline. In the case that they did notice, I quickly replied, “Oh, that’s just because my hair is lighter in places,”then changed the subject.

Once I started college, I struggled to find someone that could give me a fade like my barber back home without breaking the bank.That’s when I decided to try growing my hair out a bit, you know, to make up for the "lost" hair. While it seemed like a good idea in theory, it really just made things more noticeable. I would buy hair thickening shampoo and conditioner in hopes to fix it. I even went as far as buying vitamins that were ridiculously expensive only to see no change.

I became the most insecure when friends and family began to crack jokes; while I knew they were not intending to make me feel bad, I couldn’t help feeling like sh*t. Still in denial, I scheduled a physical with my doctor with intentions of leaving the appointment with a solution to my hairloss. In reality, I left knowing that I have a Vitamin D deficiency and male pattern baldness.

Already experiencing struggles with mental health and imposter syndrome, knowing I was going bald added to the anxiety. After feeling sorry for myself for a bit, I began to work on loving myself. By my junior year of college, I had become more comfortable with myself than I have ever been. I had widened my community, improved in my classes and began to venture into new interests that I would not have before. As I had hit a wall and could no longer cover up that I was going bald, I embraced it. On the evening of December 15, 2019, I was getting ready for my birthday party and decided to give myself a quick shape up. It was the end of the semester, my money was tight and I just did not have the time to schedule an appointment for a haircut. As my hand slipped and I buzzed away my left sideburn, I took a deep breath. I began to shave my entire head. Typically I had a beard, but I shaved that too. As I looked in the mirror, I saw someone I was proud of. I entered my crowded living room eager to receive reactions from my friends, and never had I ever been so proud to be bald like Calliou.

Starting my college career with what felt like an identity crisis was not so bad afterall. While I would not wish early balding on anyone, the discomfort served as Miracle-Gro to my soul (but not my hair).